“I’ve got this.” “I can handle this.” “ I’m fine.”
We need each other. All of us, no matter what your life experiences, were made for community. We were also made for change. From the very beginning, our imperfections try to pull us backward, keeping us alone. Rick Warren, from Saddleback Church, wrote:
“To change the defects in your life, you have to have people in your life who tell you the truth. You’re not going to get well on your own; you’re going to need other people in your life. You’re going to need support. You’re going to need a small group. Change requires honest community.”
Honest community- what is that?
One of the most valuable assets I have found is a small group. This may take the form of a support group, like Families in Recovery or a twelve step program, or a small group fellowship. Community is when we join together with others through a common interest. Honest community is so much more, however.
If you really want to change, if you really want to move forward, stop faking it. That may sound harsh, but think about it. Are we really being honest with others? If we want to change, we have to get real. Be honest and willing to let someone else know the truth!
In his devotional, Better Together, Warren goes on to say, “ You can go through life with one of two choices: pretending like you’ve got it all together or getting it all together. But you’ll never get it all together as long as you pretend you’ve got it all together.”
Rick Warren wrote a pointed, truthful message to all of us. We need to stop faking it.
Do you have honest community? Are you part of a small group where people are willing to get real, whether they are ok or not? Leading the Families in Recovery support group, I try hard to make it a safe place to share. Even with all our best efforts, its hard to get new people to start coming. I hear comments like the ones at the beginning of this blog post. It seems to be the most difficult bridge to cross- admitting you cannot do this alone. I am part of another small group as well. It has been interesting so far to watch as we all skirt the issues, touching on deep scriptural truths, but limiting what we say in the group. We all do it. Honest community- how do we get there?
“You cannot become until you belong. You can’t become what God wants you to be until you belong in a group that’s going to have gut-level, honest community. (Warren)”
I want to see honest community. I need to be a part of it. What about you? If you are in recovery- it will be your life- line. If you have a family member in recovery, or actively using, the worst thing you can do is fake it. I’ve been there! If you need someone to talk to about this – reach out!
If you just need to be part of a small group of believers to grow in your faith or relationship with God- find a small group, but don’t fake it! Its ok to not be ok! Together we are better- we can help each other as we get real with God and other people.
“If you are serious about changing the deepest hang-ups in your heart, the deepest defects in your life, you’re going to have to face the fear of being honest. You’ve got to stop faking it.” ( Better Together)