One little lamb

I remember what you did for me Jesus.

I remember my little white lamb.

Many years ago, I had a powerful encounter with a little white lamb. I wanted desperately to be free from pain. I still carried memories and trauma that were like stabbing wounds in my heart. The only way I knew to cope was to lock my pain away inside- to push it back into my heart like a hard metal lock box. But- this wasn’t working anymore.

It was time to heal.

If I could give you a visual of just how much I carried, it would be something like thick heavy chains wrapped around my neck until I can’t breathe, and a backpack full of rocks making it hard to walk.

Pain. Shame. Trauma. Fear.

I think some of you know what that’s like.

I decided I was willing to try – Jesus, can you really do this?

Because I was opening myself to Jesus, He met me right where I was. I closed my eyes and looked. I will never forget what I saw. Standing right before me was a beautiful little white lamb. Sweet, spotless, innocent.

It just stood there and looked at me, not making any noise. I didn’t quite know what to think. Then this little lamb came closer and I knew what it wanted. It never said a word and I knew.

I am here for your pain.

I started to cry. You can’t ! You are so sweet and perfect! There is so much pain!

I am here for your shame.

What? No! How? Then the little lamb started to move. I looked and saw a stone altar. I knew what the lamb was going to do. My heart broke. I sat and watched as this lamb climbed up onto the stones and lay down. Not a bleat, not a word- so peaceful. He lay down on this altar made out of blocks filled with my pain, my shame, my trauma, even my fear.

I shed my blood for you.

As this precious little lamb died in front of my eyes, he left the altar and it slowly disintegrated into a beautiful glow. After a few minutes, I looked again.

Holy, holy, holy is the lamb.

My little lamb was no longer small. He no longer looked like he could never bear the weight of my pain. He was a king. Holy. All creation worshipped him as I watched. The lamb of God.

I did this for you.

Before there can be Easter, there had to be a lamb. Do you know my lamb? Have you ever had an encounter with him? Jesus, the lamb of God came for you.

What are you locking away in your box? Pain? Fear? Shame? Trauma?

Addiction creates all of the above.

One little lamb.

Thats all it took. Jesus. He was strong enough to take all my pain. Every single piece. He is here for yours.

One little lamb.