Don’t let me drown!
My son has been struggling with addiction for about ten years. At times he has had wonderful months of recovery. He has overdosed five times- that I know of. Time after time I prayed for God to save him.
“Help God! I am believing that you love him and have a plan for his life. Only You can save him! Please God!”
I would get a glimpse of hope, then another crisis, another phone call. I felt as if I was drowning. My hope for my only son was being overwhelmed by the deep waters of his addiction. What else can I do, Lord? Why are you letting him do this to himself?
“I’m weary, exhausted with weeping. My throat is dry, my voice is gone. My eyes are swollen with sorrow. (Psalm 69:3, TPT)”
As David was writing Psalm 69, I can imagine his eyes- swollen, dark circles underneath, exhausted. David cried out to God for so long, and yet his enemies kept coming. It is exhausting, praying desperately for help, only to be met with crisis after crisis. Addiction tries to drag its victims through the mud; it wants to beat you down until you have no strength to stand. Don’t let it win!
No matter how hard we pray, as a parent or spouse, it is still their choice. Our loved ones must choose to fight for themselves. When they finally do- step back and see the hand of God at work!
“Because of your faithful love for me, your answer to my prayer will be my sure salvation. (69:13)”
He loves them. Every single one, no matter how deep they have fallen. But right now, He is here for you. He is reaching His strong arms down to pull you out of the deep waters. He loves you just like He loves them. We must stop and take care of ourselves. Self-care means realizing that you are just as important as the one you are fighting for. You are worth fighting for too.
“I am burdened and broken by this pain. When Your miracle rescue comes to me, it will lift ME to the highest place. (69:29)”
When was the last time you cried out to God for your own heart? Recovery is a change of the heart. Transformation. Addiction recovery so often gets lost in information : Learning how the drugs affect the mind and body, information on strategies to find support, even information on meetings to attend or groups that can help. It is not about information though, it is transformation. When we allow God to change us, change our hearts and minds, then we will move forward. Self-care, fighting for yourself begins when we are willing to be honest with God. Help me! I’m drowning! I’m waiting for you to come through for ME! I need healing too God!
My son has made the choice to fight for himself, and so have I.
Let your heart start to heal- reach out and let us know so we can pray for you while God transforms you ! He loves you- its ok to not be ok….